Tag Archives: depression

The Pursuit of Happiness 

 The Pursuit of Happiness 
You will find happiness when you STOP chasing it. As I continue the process of recovery, I realized every step of any Twelve Steps program is Acceptance. I see at the root of discontentment there is some flavor of addiction. Negative thinking, self doubt, sense of worthlessness, bad relationships, “drama” and self pity, can all become addictive.

Learning to be happy in this very moment is when you will become free of negative behaviors. Do not get stuck in your feelings, allow them and let them go. Accept that you are a very powerful being and therefore are able to manifest any life you want to live.
SOHN The Wheel

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In the Beginning…

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Genesis 1:27

“God created man in His own image, in the image of God He created him; male and female He created them.”

Showing Love and Compassion to one’s self is the highest most purest way to honor your Higher Power.

With a full heart, you will selflessly give and without hesitation, you will be able to receive all gifts with grace.

Am I Wrong

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To whom this may concern,

I understand your pain, I’ve felt the way you have. Please let me know if any of the following sounds familiar to you; I want to help you. In my mid to late twenty I was an active alcoholic. I was encumbered by feelings of hopelessness, despair, worthlessness, bone deep wariness. I only survived never lived. Life was unbearable, I hated everything I was feeling, and hated the source of those feeling the most, myself. The only relief I thought I was able to feel was when I drank. As I took the first drink of the day I could feel the relief pour through me with the burn of it. I gained a sense of contentment, if only for a moment. I thought booze was my lifeline, my savior. So, I would continue to chase that feeling of contentment constantly. Consumed with thoughts of my next drink, I was worse than a teenage boy instead of thinking about sex every 2 seconds I thought of booze. My Facebook posts would not be about the accomplishment of my 4 beautiful children, but would consist of such BS statements as, “hard day, kids drove me insane, mommy time with her fav ice wine! Life is good!”. This went on for years until it all came to a head on May 14, 2009. I was done, I had enough of disappointing my family and friends. As, I stood on the pedestrian overpass on Las Vegas Blvd, still heavily intoxicated from the night before, after promising the people I loved I would not drink at all this trip. All promises were forgotten, I did not last twenty minutes after landing in Nevada before I hit the liquor store. I wanted it to end, I so desperately wanted it all to end. I was disgusted with myself and my lack of “willpower”. In that moment, I believed everyone whom loved me would be better off if I was not here anymore.

Today, sitting here over five years later sober, I now know I was wrong. I have a better understanding of my disease, I know it wants me dead. If you are an alcoholic/ addict and you are active your disease will only bring you to three places; jails, institutions, and a funeral home. I have proven this to myself over and over again. I’m sure if you even think you have a drinking problem and you do not seek help your path is headed in the same direction.

I am at peace with being a recovering alcoholic. I now know AA is my medicine and with time, contentment has became my state of emotional homeostasis. There is hope!

RIP Mr.Williams it didn’t have to come to this. Sometimes being loved by millions isn’t enough, if you forget to love yourself.

Much LUV and JOI,
Kimberley

Feel free to contact me via this page, email me. In subject write contentment or message our Facebook page
kmore919@yahoo.com

I’m really feeling this song at the moment! Enjoy!
http://youtu.be/VBmEJZofz2s

Counting Stars

by One Republic

Written by Ryan Tedder, the band’s frontman and songwriter for other pop stars, he was quoted as saying “I felt a responsibility to actually write and sing about things that have a level of human gravity to them” when it comes to the song’s lyrics.

Lately, I’ve been, I’ve been losing sleep
Dreaming about the things that we could be
But baby, I’ve been, I’ve been praying hard,
Said, no more counting dollars
We’ll be counting stars, yeah we’ll be counting stars

I really love this song! What spoke to me the most were the lyrics. This is a song I can get down to and actually feel inspired by. Do not get me wrong, I also can get down (well more like grind on a “surfboard”) to Beyonce’s “Drunk in Love” but all that inspires me to do is get drunk and do naughty things (naughty things aren’t always a bad thing just saying).

The chorus really got to me, I have also been dreaming of more. Dreaming of what more I can contribute to this world. I want to share this gift of illumination with all who want it. Praying to find a way to ignite the spark or to fan the flame to become brighter, in others. I took some time off from this blog because I began to manifest my dream, by teaching others that they too have been gifted. We all have that light that shines inside of us! Wasting time on such mundane a thing as money while there are wonders of the world to be discovered. No, thanks. I will continue to provide the necessary amount of attention to have a comfortable living environment, but no longer will I measure my success by the amount of wealth I have accumulated over my lifetime. 

I feel something so right
Doing the wrong thing
I feel something so wrong
Doing the right thing
I could lie, couldn’t I, could lie
Everything that kills me makes me feel alive 
This section of the second verse is brilliant! The lies we tell ourselves when we make choices that cause damage to our mind, body and/or soul, may be true in the moment. Given time the truth of the action/inaction will be revealed. I have tested this over and over, the lies I have told myself still turn out to be just that lies…
What lies are you telling yourself?
Just some food for thought,
Much Love,
Kim

Read more: OneRepublic – Counting Stars Lyrics | MetroLyrics