Say what!

Missed the boat

While we’re on the subject
Could we change the subject now?
I was knocking on your ears
Don’t worry, you were always out
Looking towards the future
We were begging for the past
Well, we know we had the good things
But those never seemed to last
Oh, please just last

First verse of Missed the boat by Modest Mouse

For the last two or three days I’ve been out of sorts. I was feeling confused, angry, and a little bitter. These feelings came up so fast and furious and I had no clue what sparked these feelings. So, I started talking to the people closest to me about these weird, out of place feelings. We were baffled by what could have triggered this bout of melancholy.
Finally, it dawned on me I’m mourning my old self. You see, when you have cursed yourself with labels like lazy, lack of follow through, unfocused, afraid of commitment, etc. then turn around and put the all the pieces of the puzzle together and actively pursue your dreams. You are putting to rest a part of yourself you have become so comfortable with it feels like part of you has died. I should have realized this sooner since I’ve brought these same issues to others attention recently. Truthfully, I’m just grateful that I was blessed with the insight to actually figure it out. (I really thought I was having Starbucks withdrawals.)
I’m no longer a fan of feeling like crap. The old me would have written it off as PMS and allowed it to consume me. Now, I try to live in the present, one day at a time and take time to appreciate the simple luxuries in my life. For example; i’m in good health, i enjoyed a hot meal today, and I was able to see the smiles on my children’s faces.
If you get into a funk take some time to count your blessings. I may not have everything I want but I sure have everything I need.

Btw I got my fun in the sun today! Took the kids to the local water spray park. What a perfect day!

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